I’ve discovered a very easy way to bullshit through life.
When asked any type of difficult question, specifically ones that you don’t want to answer, you can avoid a guilty conscience by simply tagging the phrase “right now” onto the end of it.
Some people might consider this lying, or deception, but really it’s just an overly subtle caveat. Here, let me give you some examples.
“I don’t pay my taxes…right now.”
“I don’t remember the girl’s name…right now.”
“I cannot tell you where we’ve taken your child…right now.”
Yesterday, I learned that DraftKings is also an active user of this newfound cop-out. In an email to Illinois customers, the company acknowledges recent legal proceedings over daily fantasy sports and how they plan to keep the ball rolling.
Take a look:
“Last night, the Illinois Attorney General issued an opinion suggesting that Daily Fantasy Sports should not be legal in Illinois.
We disagree with this opinion and are committed to ensuring you maintain your right to play.
We believe we are in compliance with state law and today filed a complaint challenging the Attorney General’s opinion and seeking to confirm what we believe is true: daily fantasy sports are legal in Illinois. Pending that resolution, for now, you can continue to play daily fantasy sports in Illinois.
Like you, we believe that daily fantasy sports are about the challenge, the sense of community, and the excitement of every play. We will work tirelessly to bring about an outcome in Illinois that allows you to continue to enjoy the game you love.
As we work to ensure that you are able to continue enjoying DFS in Illinois and around the country, we will provide you with relevant information and updates along the way.
We would like to take this opportunity to wish you a very happy holiday season and thank you again for your continued support.
According to the New York Times, DraftKings and FanDuel filed lawsuits in Illinois on Thursday asking a judge to “declare their games legal there.” After being constituted illegal gambling under the state’s laws, both companies said they would continue to operate in Illinois pending the outcome of their lawsuits.
Although they seem confident in their letter, a new feature on DraftKings’ landing page would suggest otherwise. When I went onto their site earlier, I noticed that my location was being tracked upon entering.
While that’s interesting and all, I don’t think it’s more than temporary. As sportswriter Teddy Greenstein summarized perfectly in the Chicago Tribune this morning, it just makes too much sense to legalize it.
“Duh, of course it’s gambling. So is wagering on horse racing at Arlington International Racecourse, playing slots at Rivers casino, folding pocket deuces at Grand Victoria in Elgin, scratching off tickets at 7-Eleven and picking numbers for the Illinois Lottery.”
Teddy is right. (And as always, so is John Oliver.)
Illinois is going to make DFS legal, and then tax the shit out of us. Still, there’s no guarantee that this will happen down the road. And in the short term, there’s no guarantee that Illinois citizens will be able to access their accounts (as evident by the new location tracker).
In a nutshell, daily fantasy sports are still completely, 100% legal in the state of Illinois…right now.