For a select few of you, this letter finds you in good spirits. I’m writing it in good spirits.
As everyone else gets to wallow in defeat as the fantasy football offseason drags along like Peyton Manning running a bootleg, I get to smile—albeit a forced one.
But I, hopefully like many of you, are fresh off of a 2014 fantasy football league championship. The year-long reign of shit-talking and incessant bragging has only begun. And if you’re not one of the elite few champions I’m speaking to, maybe you should take more of my advice next fantasy football season.
In the meantime, here’s what else you can do to pass the time until the 2015 season starts.
1. Sit and stare at your team for at least ten minutes every day.
For some, fantasy football never sleeps. This is the main reason why I urge all my readers to try a dynasty or keeper league.
For one, it’s much more strategic and allows you to channel your inner Ryan Pace.
Secondly, there is no offseason. If you’re really in tune with it, everything matters. From the Senior Bowl and NFL Combine to the NFL Draft and the free agency frenzy in April – everything can be viewed through a fantasy football lens.
Also, this is why close family and friends think I have an obsession rather than a hobby.
But who’s counting?
2. League Events
All you have to do is play with the same core group of guys every year to make it work.
For instance, this coming February, my entire league is flying into Chicago for our “Offseason Summit,” or what you would call the Winter Meetings in baseball. Yes, we all come together for a weekend to drink beer, dress like assholes, and talk about how to make our league better. And, because a simple Google Hangout just wouldn’t suffice.
Here’s a new rule for the new year: You must shotgun a beer if you wish to hold the floor for discussion.
Why? Because that’s what degenerates do.
See: Lendino, Brian.
4. Take up a new hobby.
Like writing for THESIXTHIRTYsports.com.
I write for THE SIX THIRTY, and I win fantasy football championships.
Who’s to say that it wouldn’t work for you?
5. Hell, go outside.
The only reason I feel the need to add this one (at the end), is because we here at THE SIX THIRTY are all about the promotion of a healthy and prosperous lifestyle. That means, as the weather gets warmer and the grass grows greener, actually go outside and interact with real human people.
There’s plenty of ‘outdoor shit’ to do in Chicago. It’s one of the joys of being in Chicago. Just make sure you bring one of those high-calorie beers along with you so you don’t feel like a total nut.
As Pete said in the Pilot episode of The League, “There are many things a man can do with his time. This, is better than those things.”
With that said, I’m going to go find a bum on a park bench and talk to him about his 2015 PPR rankings.