The Super Bowl is basically upon us.
Now while a lot of the talk surrounding the landmark game includes whether or not Cam Newton is a detriment to society, our content is much more — how do I say this — palatable.
We’ve already talked about the important things, like how to properly impress your friends with aimless Super Bowl stats. These numbers are a sure-fire way to get someone to go home with you.
Or about how John Fox is basically Dane Cook (Note: talking about Dane Cook is not a way to get someone to go home with you). And finally, how to effectively become a bandwagon fan of the Broncos or Panthers without anyone suspecting.
But now it’s time to talk about the aspects of the game that really matter.
In other words, it’s time to freaking gamble.
As the week grows shorter and Super Bowl Sunday inches nearer, it’s time to break down what bets you should throw your hard earned dollars at.
So we headed over to Oddshark and pulled the best Super Bowl 50 prop bets worth betting on. They’re actually really good this year and include everything from the National Anthem to Donald Trump.
Plus the boring stuff like MVP awards and rushing yards and shit.
Remember: This is for entertainment purposes only, we’re not responsible for how much money you are about to lose, and always drink when you gamble.
Seriously, win or lose, it’s much more fun.
And now, let’s get on to the free cheese.
Non-Football Super Bowl 50 Prop Bets
How long will it take Lady Gaga to sing the US National Anthem?
The average run time of the last 10 national anthems is 1:57, so this line deviates from the average by quite some time. However, Lady Gaga is a drama queen to the highest order so we’ll take the over and not look back.
What color will the liquid be that is poured on the winning coach?
Does “clear” mean a legitimate clear Gatorade (remember Gatorade ICE?) or does “clear” include the chance of water being dumped? If so, we’ll take the 4/1 value on that.
How many times will “dab” or “dabbing” be said by the announcers during the broadcast?
Over 2 EVEN
Under 2 -140
I’ll take over 2 on this before the game even kicks off.
Cross Sport Prop – What will be higher?
Trump % Points in the New Hampshire Primary -200
Total Points scored by the winning Super Bowl team +150
I love me a good cross-sport prop especially when it mixes football and politics. I’ll take the points scored plus juice. I smell a Trump face-flop coming in New Hampshire.
Cross Sport Prop – What will be higher?
Tiger Woods 1st Round score at 2016 Masters -120
Emmanuel Sanders Receiving Yards -120
Noodle Arm Peyton or Noodle Back Tiger — who is going to take my money in this scenario? I pegged Manny Sanders as my ‘x-factor’ for this Super Bowl so I’ll go with receiving yards.
If Steph Curry is shown on TV during the broadcast what will he be wearing?
Personalized Carolina Steph Curry Jersey EVEN
Cam Newton Jersey +300
Any Other Carolina Jersey +500
No Jersey +200
I find it funny that “no jersey” is the second cheapest option here considering it includes every single piece of clothing not considered a jersey. Vegas really believes that Chef Curry is going to wear a jersey.
The Panthers don’t have a No. 30 so it’s either going to be Cam jersey or a Curry one. I’ll go with Curry considering, you know, he’s already busted it out before (see above photo).
Will Mike Carey be wrong about a challenge?
Take the yes and don’t look back.
Which song will Coldplay play first during the halftime show?
Adventure of a Lifetime +200
Fix You +350
A Sky Full of Stars +450
Viva la Vida +500
Head Full of Dreams +1000
Who the hell would start a halftime show singing ‘Fix You?’ Wasn’t that song featured in a movie about the World Trade Center? After reviewing this set list of Vegas prop songs, are we so sure Coldplay is the right choice for the Super Bowl halftime show?
Considering I haven’t listened to Coldplay since Dunk-a-roo’s were a thing I’m going to go with “Clocks.” That value on “Paradise” is quite tempting though.
How many times will “John Fox” be said during the broadcast?
Over 1 -140
Under 1 EVEN
They’re going to mention him exactly one time. Probably.
Actual Football Super Bowl 50 Prop Bets
Odds to win MVP
Cam Newton -130
Peyton Manning +275
Luke Kuechly +1400
Ted Ginn Jr. +2000
C.J. Anderson +2000
Von Miller +2000
Greg Olsen +2200
Jonathan Stewart +2200
Demaryius Thomas +2200
Emmanuel Sanders +2200
Josh Norman +2800
Aqib Talib +3300
DeMarcus Ware +3300
Corey Brown +6600
Ronnie Hillman +6600
Owen Daniels +6600
Danny Trevathan +6600
Brandon McManus +6600
Darian Stewart +6600
Graham Gano +6600
Chris Harris Jr. +7500
Derek Wolfe +10000
Devin Funchess +10000
Brandon Marshall +10000
Mike Tolbert +15000
Kurt Coleman +15000
I’ll take Greg Olsen.
I think the Panthers are going to win the game, so I’ll take Cam Newton’s top target to have a big night. Other good bets include Cam (of course) or Peyton Manning simply because if the Broncos do win there’s no way he isn’t getting MVP.
Total Rushing Yards – Peyton Manning (DEN)
Over .5 (+160)
Under .5 (-200)
Over. It’s one fucking yard.
Who will record the most rushing yards in the game?
Jonathan Stewart +120
C.J. Anderson +130
Cam Newton +500
Ronnie Hillman +700
Mike Tolbert +5000
This is an interesting prop because you have five really good options and five really good prices. Cam seems like the best option but he’s not going to find easy yards with the speed of Denver’s defense. Anderson and Hillman are both candidates to break a long one.
Tolbert, yeah no. Stewart is the favorite for a reason and you can make an extra .20 cents on the dollar. But I will probably look at Cam first and then hedge with some J-Stew.
Who will record the most receiving yards in the game?
Demaryius Thomas +275
Emmanuel Sanders +325
Greg Olsen +300
Ted Ginn Jr. +500
Corey Brown +650
Jerricho Cotchery +1200
Devin Funchess +1600
Owen Daniels +1600
Jordan Norwood +5000
Cody Latimer +6600
Andre Caldwell +10000
Benny Fowler +10000
Manny or Olsen. Ultimately I’ll take Sanders for the better price.
Carolina wins the game and Olsen wins MVP but I think Emmanuel Sanders has a great game in a losing effort. Demaryius Thomas will see a lot of Josh Norman treatment.
Though, Greg Olsen is going to get force fed after what Rob Gronkowski was able to do to Denver’s defense in the AFC Championship. He’s just as good a bet as Sanders.