While browsing the internet earlier today, we found a thread on Reddit about people pooping on Chicago public transportation.
Now, if you think it’s ridiculous that there’s a complete Reddit thread about people pooping on public transportation, you’ve clearly never taken public transportation in Chicago. Maybe it’s because we don’t have enough public restrooms, or maybe it’s because people in Chicago just like taking shits on the bus.
Either way, here are the best shit stories we found on Reddit so far. Have your own poop story? Send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Chicago Poop Horror Stories
“About 6 years ago, was on the brown line when some dude just lowered his pants and explosive shat everywhere near the emergency exit on the train.
The smell was horrible obviously and some people kind of froze looking at each other like “What should we do”?
Anyways, we all ran to the next car while the dude sat peacefully in that car.”
“4PM on a weekday. Clark & Division, Red Line stop. Pretty 20-something girl that is waiting for the train near me wanders to the far end of the platform. She looks around furtively, then drops trou and squats…leaving behind what is quite obviously, even from 40-50 feet away, a large turd.
She pulls up her pants and walks away as if nothing happened.
I couldn’t believe what I had just seen.”
“I saw a young, professionally dressed woman in the Loop duck into an alley, lift her skirt, and drop a deuce. We made eye contact and she gave me a half smile and shrug, stood up, straightened her skirt, and walked off.”
“Blue line, 2:45 am, Irving Park stop. Walking down the stairs towards Pulaski. Homeless person holding both railings, pants down, ass hanging over the lower steps, furiously shiting… furious.”
“My husband and I are new to the city. The weekend we were here looking at places to live we quickly learned why one does not get on an empty car (minus one homeless man) I grew up in a farm and the smell of poop was almost unbearable.
Next stop we switched cars only to see him getting kicked off and the train delayed due to ‘technical problems’.”
“A few years ago I was leaving a Sox game on the red line. The platform was packed with people from the game, so when a train pulled up, everyone pushed their way in for seats. One of the inner-facing seats had fresh poop on it. Everyone noticed it and moved along. One person sat in the seat next to it.
The smell was horrific.
So at Chinatown, a lot of people got off that car and ran for other cars, including me and my friends. When we got to Jackson to transfer, we had to walk past that original car and noticed someone sitting in the seat.”
“Somebody on the southbound Halsted bus just got naked and defecated on a seat. Then apologized.”