I didn’t take a sip of alcohol on Saturday during college football. I was hurting far too much from Friday night to even spell the word booze.

So I basically sat curled up in a ball on my couch and watched an abundance of college football.

That still counts, right?

Hell, with six Top-25 matchups in Week 12, it was probably a good week to soak in college football’s finer subplots rather than soaking in double-digit Miller Lite’s.

Anyways, we’ll keep the intro short this week — similar to my (and your) attention span. Ahead of tomorrow’s weekly College Football Playoff rankings, here’s what piqued my interest curing college football Week 12.

Again, Iowa is not that good.

I came across an interesting stat the other day, and yes, it 100 percent has to do with Iowa.

Iowa is basically that kid in middle school who is worlds better than everyone else at sports. You just assume that because he’s a God at Level A that he’s automatically going to be a God at Level B — or in this case, high school.

It doesn’t pan out and that kid usually gets hit with a fat reality check and ends up fading off into oblivion.

Listen, it’s hard to argue against an 11-0 record without sounding like an unabashed hater but this is me doing that.

Talk to me this weekend after they get housed by Nebraska. In other Big Ten news..

Indiana Is The Best 5-6 Team In The Country

Seriously, nobody was more due for a win in Week 12 than the Hoosiers – who was on a brutal 6-game slide before demolishing Maryland.

I’ll take the Indiana offense over most other offenses in the country, and half of that six game losing streak was comprised of touchdown losses to No. 3 Iowa, No. 12 Michigan, and No. 8 Ohio State.

The Hoosiers are a victory at Purdue from being bowl eligible for only the 10th time in program history. They played their first season in 1887.

Two of the teams to narrowly escape the Hoosiers, Michigan and Ohio State, square off this weekend for a chance to stay alive in the Big Ten East race.

Michigan State Is Ohio State’s Biggest Rival, Not Michigan

Well not really, but we saw Draymond Green retweet something very interesting after Sparty’s dramatic walk-off win over the Buckeyes on Saturday.

The logic makes sense though: After winning seven straight meetings from 2000-2008, Ohio State has now lost three of their last five against MSU since 2011.

But hey, good luck this weekend when Michigan destroys you and the woeful group of 11 called an offense (see more below) at the Big House.

Ezekiel Elliot Didn’t Do Anything Wrong

I have zero problem with what Ezekiel Elliott said after Ohio State’s championship-killing loss to Michigan State. That was an frustrating loss for the defending champs, and Elliott was understandably pissed after getting 11 carries.

Listen, I would be livid too if I was in the conversation of the nation’s best running backs and my coach only gave me 11 carries. I’m this team’s best chance at winning, you better be feeding me like it’s Thanksgiving dinner.

What is the right place and wrong place to express your emotions? I’m not sure, but don’t stick a bunch of microphones in a 20 year old kid’s face after losing and expect him to act like POTUS.

I’m with you, Erin.

Though, because of the world we live in, Zeke is forced to apologize for speaking his mind.

Alright, moving on because I’ve already spent more than enough time talking about the Big Ten.

Arkansas’ Brandon Allen will be the best NFL quarterback from this class.

Though his team lost, Brandon Allen showed me all I needed to know regarding his prospects as an NFL QB.

First, let’s start with the Arkansas’ quarterback’s size. He’s 6′ 3″, 210 pounds, so he’s the ideal height and carries a frame that can easily add 10 or so pounds.

I personally think Allen is being undervalued at this point in the season, but I see a kid who can make all the throws and is putting up great numbers against SEC defenses without a bevy of offensive weapons.

Keep an eye out here for Allen in NFL evaluations.

Florida Is The Second Best SEC Team…I Think

You know what’s embarrassing? Because of SEC alignment I’m forced to anoint Florida as the second best team in the conference. They’re ranked in the Top 10, have a good ass defense, and a lot of NFL prospects. But as a whole?

Not a good team. They, like Iowa, are a product of playing a soft ass schedule.

But seriously, with Alabama being the de facto best team in the SEC (and probably the country), who is the second best team in the SEC?

Is it Mississippi State? Ole Miss? Has to be one of those two, right?

Who knows. Week 13’s schedule – Mississippi State vs. Ole Miss, Texas A&M vs. LSU, Florida State vs. Florida – should help answer.

Until then, it’s Bama and everyone else.