It’s only January 23rd, but the report about the New England Patriots’ under-inflated footballs used in last weekend’s AFC Championship is a virtual lock for dumbest story of 2015.

Ballghazi (thats my favorite name for it by far, and the best part of this whole situation) has taken ESPN by storm this week, and at this pace they might forget to talk about the actual game next Sunday – which is at least seven times more interesting.

The over-analysis of Deflate-Gate (in case you didn’t know, to make a story a scandal just add gate to the end of it) reached a new level of stupidity today that we just couldn’t ignore anymore.

Naturally, SportsCenter reached that summit by bringing on somebody very intelligent to talk about something very dumb. The wizard is named Kiel Christianson, an associate professor of Science and Technology at the University of Illinois.

Seeing ‘University of Illinois’ caught my attention for two reasons.

1) Because I’m a U of I alum.

2) Because I instantly thought ‘Oh shit, SportsCenter is really trying to make this over-analysis super-official with a U of I professor aren’t they?”

Yep, that’s exactly what they did. They brought on a professor from an esteemed university to talk about things you learn in 8th grade Physics class.

Wait, according to legitimate science, air expands in warm weather and contracts in cold weather?

Massive discoveries being made on this Friday afternoon.

Professor Christianson, God bless his soul, is probably wondering when he can get back to the challenging stuff. That was best displayed at the :57 second mark when the SportsCenter anchor, Lindsay Czarniak, asked how he could relate this breakthrough discovery to the ‘average football fan’ – like every single one of them forgot what they learned in 8th grade.

It’s slight, but Anderson’s pause and look to his right says it all:


“Wait, what?”

Dude probably wants to just get back to grading papers.

(h/t Champaign Room)