You probably forgot about four times this week already, but yes, Father’s Day is indeed Sunday.
Father’s Day always seems to sneak up on us, and for good reason.
It’s the first weekend of summer. The US Open is on. Around here, there’s about a 50% chance we’ll be celebrating a Stanley Cup and planning for a parade.
All things considered, Father’s Day has got it going on. Good chance you’ll play some golf, and at the very least eat an awesome meal. Maybe you’ll watch some golf too. Or a movie.
Ideally, you and the siblings nail Dad’s gift and put a ribbon on the weekend. Check back later, but we’re pretty sure Dad Day is near the top of a “most relaxing holidays” power rankings list. That’s what Dads are all about.
Dads are also all about passing on somewhat wise sayings, telling either really bad or really inappropriate jokes, and teaching essential skills like tying a tie or tying your shoes. (But probably not how to tie a ribbon on a present. That’s definitely a Mom thing.)
So, with Father’s Day upon us once again, we put together all the weird shit we’ve learned from our Dads.
The Land O Lakes butter box trick.
This is especially funny because my dad is the last person to show me this kind of trick (and by “this kind of trick” I mean anything that would land me in detention and/or result in a phone call from the principal). Nonetheless, perhaps that’s the reason this has been engrained in my memory for so long.
I was very young, but I remember sitting at the dinner table when my Dad showed this to me and my brothers and sisters. I could tell from my mom’s reaction that this joke was not mutually appealing.
But in an effort not to ruin the fun, she let it continue. As a result, I didn’t look at a box of Land O Lakes the same way ever again.
“I buy, you fly.”
My Dad has said plenty of bad jokes, passed on some decent advice and definitely done my taxes before. But the first thing I think of for Mr. Hahn is a term and phrase I have done my best to pay forward to the rest of the world.
I buy, you fly.
Approximately 4-6 years ago, at a Bears game, when I told my dad we should get two more beers he responded with the now familiar expression and handed me $20. That part made it pretty easy to figure out what it meant, but ‘I buy, you fly’ has a much deeper meaning than its simple and rhyming appearance.
Dad – stuck between either waiting for unpredictable beer vendors or having to get out of his seat – has the perfect solution sitting right next to him. Send your younger, more-equipped-for-going-up-and-down-stairs son, but subtly phrase it where he also thinks its a great deal.
Imply that you’re paying, and he’ll be singing about the “good workout.” On the surface, ‘I buy, you fly’ is the ultimate example of a win-win scenario.
Except Dad was paying for the beers either way. That’s veteran savvy at its finest.
Mr. Hill’s Infamous ‘Dadvice’
There’s nothing like Dad wisdom. And my Dad, a psychologist, is a pro advice-giver by trade.
But then there’s the advice he gives us.
One of Mr. Hill’s favorite things is making up quotes he thinks are the most groundbreaking things in the world. And some of them are. Kind of.
“Sometimes illusion is a reality…and sometimes, reality? Is an illusion. How can you tell?”
Or the advice he gave me my Freshman year of college after telling him that I was going to change my major.
(very seriously) “That’s ok, Carly. Just follow your dreams.”
I smiled and nodded, saying, “aw thanks, Dad! That’s actually really good advice.”
Then he started laughing and said, “Pfft no it’s not, it’s bullshit!”
But for real, my Dad’s a pretty cool dude. Mostly because he says awesome, highly tweetable things.
The Ever-Classic Terrible Joke
Oh yeah, my dad tells the absolute worst jokes. And not just in the confines of our own home. He tries them out at family parties, barbecues, baseball games, wherever.
I don’t ever get mad at them, as embarrassing as they may be sometimes because I know they’re all in good fun.
But his most popular, my dad’s flagship Dad joke: Whenever we pass by a cemetery he always says, “you know, people are just dying to get in there.”
Needless to say, I laugh just because at this point.