Summing up The Internet in nine sentences would be like trying to teach someone a semester worth of Calculus 2 in four days.

And from personal experience, the latter doesn’t work worth a damn. At all.

But summing up the basics of how “something works” – like that complicated beast The Internet for instance – is a more realistic endeavor. Plus, if you needed a complete summary of The Internet, we’d defer to Season 12, Episode 6 of South Park.

Brilliant social commentary from Trey Parker and Matt Stone aside, an Imgur user decided to present their education on How The Internet Works last week.

They did so with a diagram (go to the second page) based on the infamous Starbucks Red Cup Scandal Of Early November 2015. This master of Internet logistics originally included nine key steps, but it’s since been updated with the vital “People Copy And Add To The Info-Graphic For More Karma” aspect.

Which, if you didn’t pick up, is the exact essence of what the graph is suggesting about The Internet.

So naturally, we decided to dabble with our additions, modifications, and personal interpretations of How The Internet Works.

Because one can never have enough good karma.

Keegan Goudie

  1. Something happens.
    2. Using whichever the most effective or efficient medium is at their disposal (this can range from a personal YouTube account with two followers to websites like WikiLeaks), somebody reveals that something happened.
    3. Depending on the controversiality, topicality, and/or relevance of the story’s subject – journalists, bloggers, and/or interest groups will begin spreading the information online. Then, depending on the post’s popularity among average citizens, the post will either die or go viral.
    4. Regardless of whether or not facts have come out or not about this something that happened, people will have one of these three responses:
    a) They’re offended by it.
    b) They’re offended that other people support it.
    c) Or, they’re offended that someone else is offended by it.
    5. People share their thoughts about it on social media.
    6. People argue with other people about the thoughts they posted on social media.
    7. People go to bed.
    8. People wake up and forgot something happened.

Brian Lendino

  1. Someone sees a crazy play in a live game.
  2. Person B makes an absolute about the gravity of said play.
  3. Replay of play is posted on Twitter via GIF or Vine.
  4. Twitter debates about it for 45 minutes.
  5. All context surrounding the play is lost.
  6. Egg Twitter users get blocked.
  7. Egg Twitter users delete their previous over-aggressive tweet.
    8. New play happens.

Peter Hahn

  1. Enough intel regarding a future, current, or past development – pertaining to quite literally anything about anything – is gathered and released to publicly confirm that a happening has occurred.
  2. Contingent on its genre, relative significance, and timing — ‘X’ amount of people give a shit about development.
  3. ‘X’ amount of people, in both separate and united efforts, share and react positively or negatively to said intel among various networks such as Twitter, Facebook, GroupMe, and the local barber shop. The general rule of these networks is that your sharing and reaction are viewed with more reverence if they are broadcast earlier rather than later.
  4. Depending on the value of X, ‘Group Y’ – defined as the the collection of people who give a shit that Group X gives a shit – decide to broadcast their reactions, either in agreement or disagreement, to the original reactions.
  5. If the combined value of X and Y reaches a certain point, ‘Group Z’ – or journalists, bloggers, and general media – are tasked to provide impartial clarity to the masses so they can decide whether Group X was right or wrong.
  6. The majority of people in Group Y adjust their reaction to align more with Group Z’s thoughts.
  7. The majority of people in Group X share Group Z’s thoughts as quickly as possible in an effort to “break” this new intel.
  8. Legitimate information regarding another topic is released.
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