Gambling Twitter is a messy wasteland of what I can only imagine is a collection of 350-pound grease-balls posing as gambling experts in an attempt to scam high school kids who bet with their daddy’s money.
I’m serious, these folks make Alex Rodriguez look like the Pope.
Now you might be saying, Brian, if they’re so reviled around the Twitter-sphere, why do people even pay attention to them?
Well for one, money.
See, Gambling Twitter is a giant revolving door, like any type of gambling — except this time you don’t have to beat yourself up over the loss, you can just bitch at someone else.
And late last night, it became rather public that Miami Marlins pitcher Jarred Cosart may have got caught dipping his hand into the honey jar.
So basically, your play-by-play is this:
MLB pitcher Jarred Cosart went fishing for some gambling advice from an anonymous Twitter handicapper through direct message. His interaction was screenshot by the unknown recipient and then posted to Twitter by the handle @ghostfadekillah.
Cosart isn’t the first person to get fooled by fake Twitter cappers and he’s certainly not going to be the last.
But because he’s a professional athlete it adds a separate wrinkle to the story.
Professional athletes aren’t supposed to gamble on professional sports. And they’re 100 percent banned from gambling on their own sport (See: Rose, Pete). So, you can imagine that it didn’t take long for Cosart’s detractors to try and link poor performances to shaving runs in games. And it took even less time for the MLB to launch an investigation.
Cosart has gone on record saying he’s never gambled on baseball but has also since deleted the Twitter account used while direct messaging, and created a new one.
You can guess the story he’s going with:
I’m sure. It’s always the hacker’s fault. Only this time I don’t believe it because Jarred Cosart isn’t famous enough to hack.
Just be honest, man.
Listen, I’ve tossed a few shekels on some sporting events in my day but even I’m smart enough to steer clear of Gambling Twitter. It’s where things like this happen:
I’ve seen Catfish. The guy with a 44-11 L55 betting record who tells you to throw your house payments on a LARGE PLAY probably looks like LaFawnduh from Napoleon Dynamite.
Moral of the story?
Don’t be an idiot. Don’t gamble your own money on some advice a guy who claims to be decent at gambling tells you without any real proof.
And if you happen to be famous, like Marlins pitcher Jarred Cosart, just don’t publicly gamble at all. Find yourself a nice little local in-person bookie, your best friend that you trust, and funnel your dough through him.
At the end of the day, you’ll probably get to keep your job.
(Featured Image courtesy of Wikipedia)