“New Years Eve is so much fun! It’s my favorite holiday!”

Said no one ever.

Seriously, we can all stop pretending that New Years Eve isn’t actually terrible. Because nothing says ‘super fun’ quite like feeling the pressing obligation to go out, drink too much, spend too much, and have fun at your forced party, dammit.

Then again, if you don’t go out – even if you don’t want to – you feel a serious case of FOMO.

It’s a trap. It’s all a trap.

We all think that. You all think that. And most importantly, John Oliver thinks that. And John Oliver said what we’ve all wanted to for way too long:

“New Years Eve is the worst.”

Well said, Mr. Oliver.

Last Week Tonight may not be returning to our screens until 2015, but that doesn’t mean John Oliver can’t drop a hilarious surprise bit about how much this godforsaken holiday sucks…and more importantly, how to get out of it.

In a hilarious 3:44 minute clip, John Oliver gives just about every valid excuse you can possibly give to do exactly what we all really want to do on New Years Eve – absolutely nothing.

Ranging from donating totally real bonezymes (they’re not real) to your cousin, going on a cleanse no one wants to hear about, and just straight-up lying and watching Die Hard instead, John Oliver perfectly reaches the introvert in all of us.

And for that, we thank you Mr. Oliver. Happy freakin’ New Year.

(Featured image courtesy of Last Week Tonight)