Well, there you have it.

Just when we thought we’ve seen it all, we’re reminded that anything is possible. On Thursday afternoon, Peter Francis Geraci (a Midwestern attorney passed down by the hands of God) compared himself to the 2015 Chicago Cubs in a personal blog post.

And I quote…

“The Chicago Cubs season is over. They were swept by the New York Mets and the prophecy from Back to the Future 2 did not come true. The Chicago Cubs club hit the reset button with new management, players and a plan for the future. Their fresh started ended a couple of games too soon but well.”  – Peter Francis Geraci

In his blog post, Geraci’s paralegal goes on to compare the Chicago Cubs season to bankruptcy. However, this might not be clear from his blog post, considering it had several noticeable typos and punctuation mistakes. For example, “Their fresh started ended a couple of games too soon but well.”

Let’s continue to the part where we find out how highly Peter Francis Geraci thinks of himself…because I know his assistant couldn’t come up with something this pompous:

“Bankruptcy can be your fresh start. The Cubs franchise was failing and needed help. If you are struggling with debt, maybe this could be your year. Peter Francis Geraci is a Chicago legend like the North side team. If you are considering bankruptcy, file with the man you know.”  –  Peter Francis Geraci, ‘Chicago Cubs & a Successful Fresh Start’

Seriously, get it together guys.

If you don’t even know how to spellcheck a blog post, how can I expect your company to represent me in the court of law? If you don’t know that ‘S’ in “North Side” is capitalized according to AP format, how can I expect you to help me fight bankruptcy?

Sorry Mr. Peter Francis Geraci, but it looks like we’ll be asking the questions from here.

First off, at what point over the last few months did you decide that you are as legendary in Chicago as the Cubs? And secondly, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU HANDLE THIS MANY CLIENTS?

You’ve been airing commercials on TV since I was like seven. On top of that, you have like 79 different offices in the Chicagoland area (proof). And because of these two shreds of evidence, I refuse to believe you would actually be my lawyer if I decided to hire you. You would have your paralegal handle it, just like this crappy blog post she forgot to proofread.

Rant aside, here are the final remarks from Peter Francis Geraci Law, LLC:

A bankruptcy with Geraci Law will eliminate the stress that comes with owing. Don’t let the fear of bankruptcy be your goat, black cat or Steve Bartmann.

I have nothing else to say.