The city of St. Louis is often the center of negative attention.
From race riots in Ferguson or the mayor getting blasted on Deadspin, “The Struggle” is no stranger to criticism. And now, NFL superstar Reggie Bush is taking his stab.
After losing his footing on a concrete area behind the players’ bench last week, Bush suffered a potentially career-ending injury. And in no time, he hired a high-profile attorney to press charges against the Edward Jones Dome.
In case you didn’t know (most don’t), the Edward Jones Dome is where the St. Louis Rams play football. In case you also didn’t know, the stadium is owned and operated by the city of St. Louis.
So yes, the summary here is that Reggie Bush is suing the city of St. Louis. And we think this list of people should do the same:
People That Should Sue The City Of St. Louis (Not Named Reggie Bush)
The Guy Who Literally Invented Slice Bread
Aside from pork steaks, the most notable thing invented in the city of St. Louis was the bread slicer.
His name is Otto Frederick Rohwedder and he invented the first loaf-at-a-time bread-slicing machine. The original was destroyed in a fire and it wasn’t until 1928 when he had a fully-working machine. It debuted by the Chillicothe Baking Company in Chillicothe, Missouri, which produced the first slices that year.
Because people in St. Louis don’t believe in safe, reliable transportation – and instead prefer to drive drunk.
Because he’s John fucking Goodman and he can sue whoever he wants, even his hometown.
St. Louis Rams Fans
In 1994, when the NFL officially agreed to move the Rams from Los Angeles, part of the relocation deal’s language specified the city guaranteeing “the stadium’s amenities would be maintained in the top 25% of all stadiums in the National Football League.”
Flash forward 20 years later, and the Rams are all but gone to Los Angeles – mostly because the Edward Jones Dome is the shittiest stadium in the NFL.
Anyone Who Lost Nights Of Sleep Because They Watched “The Exorcist”
St. Louis was the site of the demonic possession treated by a Jesuit priest from St. Louis University Theological. This possession inspired the book (and eventual) movie, “The Exorcist.”
People Who Like Swimming Or Other Water Activities
There’s only one major body of water in St. Louis, MO: the Mississippi River.
But other than its functional use in the realms of transportation/logistics, it’s pretty much worthless to any standard citizen who would normally enjoy swimming, fishing and other water activities.
Why? Because it’s one of the most polluted bodies of water in the country.
The Dude Who Designed The Arch
Fairly certain he’s not alive anymore but I would be pissed if I was that guy. Imagine designing this monumental symbol of expansion right on the water in a major US city, only for that city to have a skyline that’s you and nothing else.
I would have been like no, I’m taking my talents to Kansas City or something. There’s no way I’m giving St. Louis the arch idea if I had known they wouldn’t have built up around it. Now it’s just the butt of jokes that lies on the shores of a river that looks and smells like poop.
When the coolest thing about your city is your baseball team, you just don’t deserve a landmark this beautiful.
Only because he’s bound to get another concussion as a member of the Rams after being signed to a one-year deal Monday afternoon.
— Los Angeles Rams (@RamsNFL) November 10, 2015