It’s hard to mess up a movie trailer.

Seriously, you can make the world’s shittiest movie look like the film God’s gift to theaters by simply throwing a heavy bass hit at the beginning and end of a dramatic quote.

When the Jurassic World trailer came out, everyone got excited about the franchise coming back from extinction. However, when the 90’s nostalgic haze (as thick as Isla Nublar’s fog) fades, you start to notice something…

The Jurassic World trailer makes no sense.

We’ve already talked about how it’s the most random production staff ever. But while some trailers are mysterious, this one leaves you with questions for all the wrong reasons.

For starters, it’s one giant contradiction.

I mean, it’s supposed to use animatronics, so they make a full trailer of (not so great) CGI?

The new dinosaur they create is “highly intelligent”, but also “kills anything that moves?”

And the real kicker – they use modern, unpredictable “do-it-yourself” scientific methods…and start with a highly evolved carnivore from scratch.

And they’re shocked when it goes wrong?

Guys. It’s been three movies worth of incidents on these islands – including a T-Rex tearing up San Diego. At this point in the game, the only explanation for them thinking, “No, this park is totally still a good idea. Fourth time’s a charm – when has this ever back-fired?” is a crossover-worthy worldwide MIB mind-wipe.


Although we all know who to blame for that in the first movie. You had one job, Phil Tippett.


As Chris Pratt so astutely brings up in the trailer, “You just went and made a new dinosaur? Probably not a good idea.”

No, Chris Pratt. It’s probably not.

Where’s Jeff Goldblum and his Chaos Theory when you need it?

Even the homages to the original Jurassic Park – while totally awesome to see – stop making sense even before you get to the iconic Park gate. Because while the throwbacks to Jurassic Park are nostalgic and emotional, this isn’t the same park.

It’s kind of doing what Ridley Scott did with Prometheus – it looked like a prequel to Alien, it had throwbacks to Alien, it had a few aliens from Alien. But Scott insisted that the prequel wasn’t a prequel.

Jurassic World isn’t a reboot, spinoff, or a sequel, really. In fact, you could say it doesn’t really fit too well with the JP franchise at all…

Judging from the trailer, Jurassic World is using the inspiration of the franchise as a platform to create a vaguely nostalgic dinosaur action movie with all the ingredients of a money-making blockbuster.

A-list (super good-looking…but that’s besides the point) star? Check.

Big ‘ol mystery monster? Check.

The most basic dialogue setting the scene and flashy future tech? Check check check.

Jurassic World is less in the realm of Jurassic Park and more in the realm of an action movie about a dinosaur theme park that looks like a knock-off of ‘that one movie they did in the 90’s.’

And that’s what’s most concerning.

Jurassic Park was never meant to be solely an action film. Between posing heavy scientific questions of playing God and featuring special effects the likes of which still stand up today, the original film was as ground-shaking as the T-Rex that haunted audiences’ nightmares in the 90’s. It was an action movie that made you think, that changed how you imagined dinosaurs, that changed the way films are created and experienced. Maybe the science wasn’t exact, but it was at least creatively plausible and really made you think.

And now all of that just looks like it’s being whored out to make money through a franchise that will always draw an audience.

But, it’s too early to judge a book by its cover. There’s still some hope that it will be awesome, and we do have the underused art of animatronics to look forward to.

Let’s just hope that the Mosasaur eating the Megalodon in this trailer (hashtag prehistoric nerd) was a homage to Spielberg’s previous works rather than a metaphor for the new creatures coming in to destroy it.