Miss Martin, you set feminism back ten years for writing this article.
I could go on all day about how you consistently post unabashed drivel and unfounded opinions on how you think the world should work, and for whatever reason, it’s always in your favor.
The world owes you a lot, huh?
I could continue to go on about how you never have anything good to say about the male gender, as if we have never contributed anything to society, have no feelings or agendas of our own outside of breeding.
I could even mention how your warped view on what feminism is. And how it makes it that much harder for true feminism and gender equality to gain a foothold in society because of your constant undermining of its true meaning.
To quote Inigo Montoya, “You keep saying this word, I do not think you know what it means.”
But I’m not going to. I’m going to dissect this article instead of personal attacks. And I’m going to show you exactly why this has nothing to do with men and women and everything to do with horrible, muckracking, sensationalist “journalism.”
So Elite Daily, lets start with the title.
Women Need to Start Asking Men Out Because Men Have No Balls?
I’ve never read something more geared towards gaining clicks and picking a fight. What would be the gender reversal of the title?
Would it be, “Men Need To Take Control Of Situations Because Women Are the Submissive Gender,” or maybe, “Men Need To Ask Women Out Because Those Are The Gender Roles We Are Supposed To Follow?” Or maybe even the quite literal, “Men Need To Ask Women Out…Because Women Physiologically Lack Balls.”
Pretty sexist right? Telling people what their gender roles are off a preconceived notion. “prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination on the basis of sex.”
Yeah that’s the definition of sexism. In fact, your entire intro essay does just that: stereotype us men based on your personal experience.
It’s okay though, because you put in one sentence where you mention, “not all men, but a lot of them.” That gets you off the hook, but actually admits to your vapid generalization.
You mention that this leaves the women to “do all the work.” What’s wrong with doing work to get something you want? What’s wrong with occasionally approaching a stranger on your end? Or suggesting he get your number before he even asks?
Isn’t that all about what gender equality and the modern, independent woman should be about?
And what exactly was the ‘work’ you as a woman would be doing in a bar if every guy did approach and do the asking out? Would it be to simply sit at the bar and merely exist?
Looking pretty, but providing nothing to the equation except an object for men to select from a shelf?
Excuse me if I’m wrong, but that is exactly what feminism seeks to eliminate in modern society, and you imply that’s all you should have to do—except now you have to be the hunter and the shooter. Instead of, oh I don’t know… providing a give and take like in every successful adult relationship?
They’re scared of you.
You’re DAMN RIGHT, we are scared of you.
We’re running scenarios in our heads about what could go wrong. We’re remembering the last time we put ourselves out there and got crushed. We’re remembering heartache.
We are all unique individuals with our own unique set of experiences, our own fears, our own insecurities.
You’re right, I am scared of a woman with half a brain. Because you shouldn’t be thinking with half your brain. I want a smart, savvy woman. But it’s the superficial people on both sides that make insecure over-thinkers out of all the smart ones.
Keep that in mind when a guy gets the balls to talk to you that he’s going out on a limb and more just on the slightest of slight chances that you could be something more.
They got it from their mamas.
My mother raised a gentleman. She taught me to always hold a door, even if the woman never looked up from her phone to see who was letting her in. She taught me how to cook, how to dress properly, use etiquette and manners and how to speak to her parents.
She taught me good taste in everything. But most of all, being the strongest woman I know, she taught me to have the utmost respect for women. How independent they could be, how unique and important they were.
And despite previous girlfriends and breakups and treacherous women I have met, each new one gets a clean slate and no emotional baggage from a past relationship, because each is different and unique and deserves as much.
And I keep doing things the right way because the one who is worth it will find it deserving.
They think there is always someone better.
I don’t even want to validate this with a response. This is a generational problem, not a gender problem. Tinder works both ways, and so does vanity.
For a person who mentioned Noah Calhoun, August Waters, and Channing Tatum all in one article, I find it hard to believe you’re just settling ‘for the options you’ve been given.’
You’re not settling. You consistently compare each new suitor to a previous relationship or crush or your ideal image of what your significant other should be, not what this person could be. We all do.
Quit generalizing. It’s lazy.
And the next time you blow off or shoo away a guy who’s trying to talk to you in favor of the hotter guy across the room you’re trying to make eye contact with, remember those words—especially when the better option goes home with someone else.
They never grew up.
Did you really just use Nickelodeon as a source? I clicked on the link and saw Spongebob staring back at me. You know he lives in a pineapple under the sea, right?
Regardless, the maturity is a well known fact. But that’s also bioligical maturity. As in, we start puberty earlier and also don’t stop growing until much older either.
But I’m not using that as an excuse, because the real problem with this segment is our comparing ourselves to our parents’ generation.
STOP COMPARING US TO OUR PARENTS.
Our parents weren’t on the same timeline as their parents either. And if you want to stay on the train of comparisons between generations, we should go back to arranged marriages at 16. Sound good? Great.
Do you know WHY we’re not getting married at the same age as our parents? We could start with the fact that more women are working, and less are ready to start a family as early. Women are valuing careers more and more, less willing to be stay-at-home Moms and in some points being the primary earner.
A rise in independence, an increase in financial freedom and the desire to do more as an individual before becoming a couple means both sides of the aisle are marrying less because they CHOOSE to. Working on personal improvement and development is rising over marriage because we are being given time to mature at our own pace.
And in addition to the social aspects of it, you’re just plain WRONG on us getting married later. While we may be getting married at a later age, we’re actually getting married sooner in our lifespans. And that info comes straight from the U.S. Census, which I do realize is not nearly as credible of a source as Nickelodeon.
We’re all in this together, Miss Martin.
If you call yourself a feminist and truly believe yourself to be an independent woman, get off your shoddy soap box and stop blaming the male gender for everything that doesn’t go your way.