Some nights before I go to sleep, I lay in my bed and think about how weird the world is.
I go to bed with the firm belief that Earth, and the people that fill it, could not possibly get any stranger. Maybe that’s because I judge too much, or maybe that’s because we’ve seen it all over the last few weeks.
From some guy jamming cell phones on Chicago public transportation to the woman that got busted with 5.5 pounds of crack at Union Station – there’s no shortage of oddities to report on when it comes to the great state of Illinois (and that doesn’t even include this total nutjob).
However, today’s most questionable discovery comes all the way from the Beehive State, or what most people would refer to as “Utah.”
As you’re about to see in this video from FOX13, the Salt Lake City news station decided to reenact a hit-and-run accident. We have no clue why anyone would think this is a good idea, but after watching it we do have a good idea that it’s completely scripted bullshit.
UPDATE (11/17/2015): The video, originally embedded at the top of this post, has been taken down from Youtube. To satisfy your media needs, we replaced it with a GIF later in the post.
If you had to rewatch the video three times to understand what the hell just happened, don’t worry, so did we. Because of that, we’ve included a recap below.
RECAP: Local News Tries To Fake A “Caught-On-Camera” Incident
0:00 – 0:04
The video starts with a shot of a blonde woman in a fedora. As it turns out, this is the same woman that conveniently witnesses the supposed “hit-and-run.”
After some extremely generic footage of cars driving by, the male narrator states: “While Fox 13’s cameras were rolling on Monday afternoon, another teen was nearly hit…”
0:05 – 0:11
The fedora-wearing woman appears again at the five-second mark. A blue SUV is sitting at a crosswalk as a young girl waits to cross. As she starts walking towards the camera, never once in the path of the car, the car moves forward – literally as if somebody said “Okay, go!”
Fedora woman (that’s what we’re calling her now) then proceeds to IMMEDIATELY begin yelling at the driver in an unconvincing tone. She then turns to the camera crew, asking, “did you guys see that?”
Seeing as there was nothing to see, we’re not sure what their response was. We didn’t see shit.
0:11 – 0:14
Several seconds after the “hit-and-run,” FOX13 shows the apparent victim losing her balance and falling to the ground.
The teenager stands back up rather quickly, essentially eliminating the possibility that she fainted or suffered a panic attack (because if you’ve ever legitimately fainted or suffered a panic attack, you know that you can’t stand up and walk around three seconds after).
Despite being clearly fine and uninjured, the male narrator – attempting to be the next Anderson Cooper – said the girl was “in shock” after the accident.
0:14 – 0:18
FOX13 then proceeds to interview the young girl, who says that the car accident “scared the crap” out of her.
In conclusion, this reenactment (if it’s even worth calling it that) is so awful that I would pay just to find out how it got through the hands of a professional producer and onto local television.
And for another night, I will go to bed wondering why the world is so damn strange.