Dear Dillon Francis,

Most people are thrown off by your constantly distracted and somewhat sarcastic demeanor. I am a fan of your music.

I’m not disgruntled by the fact most people found out about you because of a three-second video you made with Taylor Swift that ultimately went viral, nearly sparking a riot at Entertainment Weekly’s headquarters. Unlike some music hipsters, I do not claim that you’ve sold out and that all your new shit sucks, either.

That said, most of your songs over the last two years have sucked.

My expectations for you were at an all-time high after hearing your first love song, “Without You.” And when you followed that up with “Get Low,” an ear-popping single that sounds like it was produced by a God damn trap music Pharaoh, the bar was sky-high.

The disappointment began when I attended your “official” Spring Awakening aftershow last summer.

It was at a shady-ass nightclub called Transit, and the only reason it was memorable whatsoever is because the bartender was so drunk that he lost my debit card on the floor right after I handed it to him. I was then given like 35 drink tickets by the owner, which I left on the floor after realizing you honestly had the balls to play for 20 fucking minutes at your own aftershow. Which, by the way, a lot of people paid money to go to.

I was pissed. But as I’ve learned from you, life is a lot easier when you don’t give a shit.

Then you released Money Sucks, Friends Rule. And despite the fact the release date was pushed back like five times, your first studio album was nothing to be ashamed of. My initial review of the album was positive, and I’m still enthralled by tracks like “Set Me Free” and “Not Butter” every time I listen to them.

That said, the album’s anticipation outweighed the payoff. Maybe it’s because the best song on it (“Get Low”) was released nine months before the rest of the album. Or, maybe it’s because you wanted to make a little more money off it…which would entirely contradict the title of the album.

Regardless of the reason, I knew you could do better because I’ve seen you do better. And despite your ever-increasing fame amongst 8th-grade girls on Instagram, my appreciation for your music was tanking.

This all changed on August 13th, 2015 – the day you released your new EP, This Mixtape Is Fire. 

After listening to it over 47 times, I’m now confident that you will not burn out and wind up like Lindsay Lohan. In fact, this EP reminded me that you’re just getting started.

Although it came with some massive collaborations, the emphasis on moombahton was evidently your idea. With six unworldly tracks that provide a rollercoaster of emotions and shoulder movements, it took me some time to truly grasp how ‘fire’ this mixtape truly is.

“Bun Up The Dance” is a grimy but sophisticated raucous of horrifying bass and an irresistible chorus, proving that even King Skrillex is capable of a compromise.

You’ve been teasing “What’s Your Name” for quite some time, but the final touches made on this collaboration with Calvin Harris are noticeable.

And even though you and Kygo didn’t create the lyrics on your own, the tropical moombahton remix of James Hershey’s “Coming Over” is still irresistible.


This Mixtape Is Fire is progressive, but it’s familiar. It’s bold, but it’s comforting. It’s different, but something different is what you’re best at.

It’s not an EP, it’s a statement in the making.

As if you couldn’t drop any more fire upon us this month, earlier today you released a brand new remix of “Imperium” by Madeon. Self-described as MoombahTechBaton, this tracks bears a level of artistic ability that I haven’t heard you display since remixing Justin Timberlake.

So, I just wanted to say thanks.

Thanks for going back to your roots. Thanks for making music that’s different. And thanks for giving Moombahton an EP that it desperately needed. But most of all, thank you for taking time out of your busy career as an aspiring comedian to start making good music again.

You’re the tits.



Listen to This Mixtape Is Fire: