Every single male human being on this planet has their guilty pleasure songs. It’s the tune that you wouldn’t dare jam to in public, or even admit that you love it to your most trusted confidant.
But when you’re alone in your car you’re that guy they point to because you can’t help but jam the fuck out.
Trust me, I know you’re nodding your head in agreement right now. It’s okay. You’re not any less manly for liking the Biebs. I know I became more of a man when I finally admitted that.
2015 was a solid year for guilty pop anthems, so I’ve compiled the list of the 10 guilty pleasure songs every dude 100 percent jammed to behind closed doors.
“Stitches” by Shawn Mendes
“…You watch me bleed until I can’t breathe…”
“Stitches” is a really good song. I’ll be the first to admit it, even publicly. But I’m not going to be the one turning it on full blast when I’m around people. As I’ll mention later, single boy acts are uncharted territory for male fanboys.
How pop-lover can you get without looking like a loser?
Shawn Mendes might transcend that because I love this song and I’m done hiding from that fact (partially why it’s No. 10 on the list, too).
“Bad Blood” by Taylor Swift ft. Kendrick Lamar
“…Band-Aids don’t fix bullet holes…”
Let me begin by saying that lyric posted above is the most cliche of all cliches that Taylor Swift has ever put in a song, and that’s saying something.
Everything about her music is cliche and that one sticks out above them all.
There’s only one reason why dudes keep coming back to this song, and it’s King Kendrick. Although, I distinctly remember not wanting to admit that I liked this song even if Kendrick was in it because you had to sift through so much Taylor just to get to him.
This song and I now have bad blood.
“Want To Want Me” by Jason DeRulo
“…Wearing nothing but a smile, fell to the floor…”
I have a theory: Jason DeRulo was put on this Earth to make bangers and only bangers.
See, I don’t have a problem admitting that I like Jason DeRulo. Especially when his song first comes out. You know, before the radio kills it. It’s at that point the song becomes a guilty pleasure. Like I become so obsessed with the song that I’ll keep listening to it after everyone else deems it dead.
He’s the new Pitbull. Seriously, only bangers allowed here.
“Cheerleader’ by OMI
“…’Cause I’m the wizard of love, And I got the magic wand…”
THOSE FUCKING TRUMPETS.
I’ve heard this song so many times by this point the trumpets are the only part I can handle anymore. If you bust open Google and check out the lyrics, they are horrible, too.
But hey, that’s Caribbean electropop man. It’s dope for the beach but relentless when you live in Chicago. I’ll fully admit that I couldn’t get enough of it for a solid few months though.
“Chains” by Nick Jonas
“…Tryin’a break the chains but the chains only break me…”
On the real, Nick Jonas makes bangers. His 2014 hit, “Jealous” is probably the ultimate guilty pleasure song of life so it’s only fitting his 2015 version of “Chains” makes my list.
I spent most of June karaoke-ing the dark mysterious pop anthem in my headphones while writing, so yeah – Nick Jonas has a solid case for King of Guilty Pleasure Songs Island.
“Talking Body” by Tove Lo
“…We fuck for life, we fuck for life…”
This song is for all the freaks in the room. Talk about a sexual opus by Tove Lo. The girl was tryin’ to get it. But in reality, I love this song even if it took me awhile to confess. Something about a person I don’t know telling me I have a perfect body and to come put it on ’em.
That’s that shit right there.
“Love Me Like You Do” by Ellie Goulding
“…Only you can set my heart on fire…”
Ellie Goulding is probably one of the most annoying singers in the world, but that hasn’t stopped me from closet jamming to her smash hit “Love Me Like You Do” like my life depended on it.
But I have to say, how creepy is the fourth line of the song saying, “you’re the color of my blood?” I guess that’s what happens when a song is the lead track of Fifty Shades of Grey.
And now I’m officially thinking about guilty pleasure movies for dudes.
“Fight Song” by Rachel Platten
“…And all those things I didn’t say…”
I used to CRUSH this song while driving in my car on the way home from the golf course over the summer. That soft crescendo of “like a small boat, on the ocean” into the booming “THIS IS MY FIGHT SONG” had me singing with my hands like no one’s business.
Justin Bieber’s Entire Album — Purpose
“…Cuz I’m missin’ more than just your body…”
I simply cannot hide the fact that I am a true, 100 percent, unadulterated Belieber at this point. This guy is so remarkably talented now that he’s shaken the baby sound, jackass persona. Think if Jesse McCartney ever panned out like this we would have a Justin Bieber-Jesse McCartney world in 2016.
Top three songs of the Album? Easy: “The Feeling,” “Sorry,” and “What Do You Mean?” – in that order.
Now get back at me in an hour when you’ve become a Belieber, too.
“Blank Space” by Taylor Swift
“…Oh my God, look at that face. You look like my next mistake…”
OK, so technically “Blank Space” came out in 2014 off the 1989 album, but it’s being featured on this year’s Grammy Awards so I’m including it in 2015’s guilty pleasures.
Without hesitation, it is my No. 1 guilty pleasure song of all time. I’m not joking I probably listened to this song 12-15 times in a row at some points. All the Taylor facial expressions when singing it and everything. The works.
Low key, I still jam it every now and then. But the love stops after this song and “Bad Blood.” You won’t catch me dead listening to anything else Taylor Swift.