This video parody of Jay-Z‘s over-glorified music-stream service (known as “Tidal”) is not only completely hilarious, it’s completely true.
Okay, maybe not in the literal sense, but in the “it’s probably not that far from the truth” kind of way. True or not, it takes a nice stab at the music industry’s Judas Iscariot.
This Tidal parody video points out the absurdity of the company’s vision. It also makes fun off the greedy pop-stars who benefit from it, and the fact that its overall presence on planet Earth is unnecessary.
It’s yet to be seen whether the tool will be successful long-term, but so far the reaction has been as bad as one could possibly imagine. Maybe they shouldn’t have trusted Kanye when he said he could code blindfolded.
Yesterday, Jay-Z responded to a lot of the criticisms of Tidal on his Twitter:
The iTunes Store wasn't built in a day. It took Spotify 9 years to be successful…
— Mr. Carter (@S_C_) April 26, 2015
That’s actually just one of about 37 tweets from Jay-Z on the matter, so check out his profile if you need the extended version.
Either way, thanks to Unna Medinsider (the random YouTuber that posted this video), Tidal gets a proper roasting.
Check out the video, and read our favorite quotes below it.
Or don’t read them. The reason we’re writing this damn post is so that you watch this video, not so we can secretly make money off it so we can wipe our ass with your money.
Tidal Parody Video – “End The Suffering”
In case you missed, here’s what the video said about the musicians behind Tidal:
“Jay-Z is worth only $560,000,000.00. When he tried to join the billionaire’s club, they laughed at him. Laughed. He can now only afford one shower of money a day.”
On Kanye West:
“Kanye West is worth a mere $130,000,000.00, and he’s married to a Kardashian. A Kardashian. He has to spend more on her anal bleaching than you or I will earn in a lifetime.”
On Jack White:
“Jack White is worth only $30,000,000.00. He can not always even afford his own private jet. He has to share one. Can you imagine what it’s like to blast a pound of coke up your nose whilst a hooker tries pointlessly to arouse you, and to have someone else there too?”
On Nicki Minaj:
“Nicki Minaj is worth just $50,000,000.00. She doesn’t get herself looking like a creepy Japanese sex doll for free. Oh no.”
“Madonna may be worth $800,000,000.00, but have you seen the price of retirement communities, and 24-hour care?”
(Photo courtesy of YouTube)