By now I’m sure you’ve heard — White Sox first baseman Adam LaRoche is retiring from the game of baseball.


At age 36, LaRoche hit .207 in 429 at bats in 2015. He’s had a successful, albeit not great, 12-year MLB career and ultimately it was time to hang it up. There was simply no more tread left on the tire.

Wrong. Well, partially wrong. There’s legit nothing left in that guy’s tank. But that’s not why he’s retiring.

Adam LaRoche announced the reason he’s retiring from the game of baseball, and with it, a $13MM payday in 2016, is because Kenny Williams and the White Sox organization asked if he could curtail the amount he was bringing his 14-year-old son Drake around the clubhouse.

Yeah, that’s a real thing. And I can’t stop laughing about it.

Listen, I love my family as much as the next guy. In fact, I lost my dad a few months back and wish I would have spent more time with him.

And I also generally understand the culture around baseball is that bringing your kid to work is a lot more common than in corporate America. Basically, every player with a kid brings them around.

However, at the end of the day, the clubhouse is still your place of employment and your employer (kindly) asked you to tone down his presence a little. It’s not the biggest ask in the world.

Williams said he still wants for the White Sox clubhouse to boast a “kid-friendly environment.” He just hoped Adam LaRoche would reduce his son’s appearances to less than 50 percent. (via Dan Hayes of CSNChicago)

The fact that Adam LaRoche decided to just up and walk away from the game of baseball because of it is something I used to pull when my parents wouldn’t let me go play at Luke’s house down the street.

I can’t believe I find myself siding with someone as repugnant as Kenny Williams right now, but this is where we end up when veteran professionals act like high schoolers.

And no, don’t give me the whole, “well imagine if Ken Griffey never brought Jr. around,” or “how awesome are those old pictures of a young Prince Fielder tossing a ball around as a kid.”

I don’t have a problem with athletes who bring their kid to the office. I have a problem with athletes who cry and ultimately retire because they were asked to bring them to the clubhouse a normal amount rather than give the kid his own fucking locker.