I love the CBA. No, not the Collective Bargaining Agreement.

I’m talking about the Chinese Basketball Association. Otherwise known as the league that all the rec league NBA talent goes to so they can become pseudo-superstars.

In fact, guys like Stephon Marbury, Jordan Crawford, Michael Beasley, and even JR Smith have torn apart the CBA for years now. The Chinese produce a ton of talent themselves, too.

Except for maybe this guy, who had fat guy eyes and a supermodel stomach in this instance. A little too many Zach LaVine videos on the Chinese YouTube probably.

Chinese Dunk Contest

There’s just so much to break down in that short clip so I’ll start at the beginning.

What the fuck is that outfit? Is that a grey and neon green body suit? No wonder he couldn’t get up, there’s no dexterity there.

And five people? He didn’t even clear the shoulders of the first guy, so I have no idea what made him think clearing five was remotely possible. What an awful look for the Chinese Basketball Association dunk contest organizers.

But perhaps the best part of this whole clip is the end, where we see a 90-year-old Marbury absolutely lose his shit after the epic fail. Steph knows that this dude wasn’t hitting the dunk on a Little Tykes hoop jumping over a line of legos.

I feel bad for being harsh here but there’s one thing I can’t stand and it’s when people don’t stay in their lane. Or on the ground.