I spent Saturday afternoon watching live football.

Yes, I do things except for sitting on my fat ass and watching TV. But despite my travels, I did take in what I could and I have some thoughts from the week that was in college football.

Let’s begin with a shred of history that I had no idea existed.

Cincinnati vs. Miami (OH) is the longest standing rivalry in D-1 college football.

It dates back to 1888, and since Notre Dame and Michigan no longer play, the Bearcats and the RedHawks own this oh-so-prestigious accolade.

I’m being totally sarcastic. The reason I had no idea this “Battle for the Bell” rivalry existed is because I don’t live in Southern Ohio. It’s also the same reason why no one outside of Ben Roethlisberger’s small fanbase can distinguish between Miami (OH) and ‘The U’.

Cincinnati beat Miami (OH) 37-33 in jubilant fashion. Had I not attended the game, this is another fact I may not have been made aware of.

It was interesting. First off, Cincinnati Bearcats fans are the epitome of blind. Their homer-ism is cute, primarily because they all hate Gunner Kiel.

Yes, that Gunner Kiel.

That said, they’re not wrong, Gunner Kiel is absolutely batshit terrible.

Remember when this kid was the second coming of Jesus and committed to Indiana of all places? And then it was LSU for like two weeks or something. And then it was Notre Dame when he actually became Jesus in the eyes of most, until finally settling in at Cincinnati — which essentially is like deciding to eat dinner at Applebee’s despite having a gift card to Morton’s.

Yeah, he really sucks.

His backup Hayden Moore ended up driving the beaten up Chevy across the finish line despite four–YES, FOUR—4th quarter turnovers. Did I mention Miami (OH) is really bad, too?

College Football Week 3

Look how many people showed up for this inferno of a rivalry.

Oxford itself was the best thing about the day. 

That campus is absolutely gorgeous. And I appreciated the fact that there was infinitely more talent walking the streets than there was roaming the sidelines. Not to mention, I couldn’t have asked for a better day weather-wise.

Anywho, let’s move on to what happened this weekend outside of Oxford, Ohio.

Auburn legit sucks. 

I shouldn’t have to elaborate much on this because we’ve seen it for three weeks now. But they ate shit against LSU, and it was basically the ringing endorsement everyone needed so they can just move on.

However, one team that no one wants to move on from is Florida State.

They played Friday night so I had a chance to watch them and I took away two things:

1. Their defense is fucking legit.

I’ll give them that, and in a lot of cases defense wins championships. But given their weak schedule, a single loss is going to obliterate their playoff chances.

2. Brian Kelly made Everett Golson.

What I mean by that is Everett Golson is not a good quarterback. Sure, his natural athletic ability helped him escape a very strong Boston College defense at times, but he’s not making reads and throws you want to see from a guy that’s in his fifth year of quarterbacking.

If Florida State loses at any point this season it’s going to be nearly impossibly for them to backdoor into the playoff.

Speaking of other teams who have an uphill battle to reach the playoffs…

Alabama’s night summed up in one Vine (I advise you to play with sound).

I simply can’t stop watching…

In other news, I hate that NIU is good. 

I have a lot of close friends who graduated from Northern Illinois. Their pride is unabashed and that’s a good thing. I like honest fans. But when Northern Illinois is good (which has been often these past five or so years), it turns into a symphony of whiny babies.

I love the underdog. I love good football. But I hate when the underdog feels entitled, and that underdog is Northern Illinois.

The Huskies played the No. 1 ranked Ohio State Buckeyes valiantly in Columbus this Saturday. And from the looks of it, Northern should make quick work of the MAC West.

But no, Northern does not deserve a place in the best teams of college football conversation like they beg for every year. Northern Illinois is good again, so it’s just a matter of time before this happens. Again.

Like I said, this is a shortened week so I’ll conclude our conversation with another football team from the state of Illinois.

Maybe it’s time I gave Northwestern my respect.

And that I will. This is the best defense the Wildcats have had under Pat Fitzgerald. They also have the necessary playmakers to win games offensively.

Their only problem? I’m giving them my respect.

I’ve been around long enough to know that the second I give a team the respect they deserve, they prove me wrong.

Why should I think anything else is going to happen with this year’s Wildcats? Let’s wait and see.