Corey Crawford: Stanley Cup-winning goalie for the Chicago Blackhawks and spokesman for Protect-A-Bed, a mattress protection accessory company.
That second part is what really boosts the overall resume.
Seriously, before hearing a Crawford radio spot during Game 6 we didn’t even know that bed protection companies existed – let alone the Blackhawks goalie signing lucrative endorsement deals with one.
Well, probably not lucrative.
At least Crawford managed to sign with the bed protection industry’s leader because Protect-A-Bed apparently beat everybody else to the most obvious fucking name ever.
But come on. This dude has won a Stanley Cup, is playing in his third consecutive Western Conference Finals, and he’s endorsed by….Protect-A-Bed?
Even worse when you consider the opportunity for inevitably cheesy analogies between protecting a bed and protecting a net.
Corey Crawford may need to hire a new publicist when the playoffs are over.
Naturally, Protect-A-Bed is one of those companies you would think has really bad commercials. Like local car dealership commercials bad.
Do a little Youtube search, and there’s a hilariously awful video of a Crawford signing event at Mattress Firm (evidently they were all over the super obvious names as well).
At this point, to best describe Corey Crawford’s random ass endorsement with Protect-A-Bed, we default to a video breakdown.
Corey Crawford Protect-A-Bed Video Breakdown
“Hey Bob, how many would you say showed up?”
“I dunno, maybe like 250-300.”
“Alright, we’ll go with 300 plus.”
But somehow around 125 of the guesstimated 300 fans didn’t get autographs at a signing event.
And around 50 got screwed on the promo bags.
Nope. Corey Crawford is a one-time Stanley Cup winner.
Our guess is somewhere between the beginning of June and the end of December. Maybe everyone can get autographs this time.
(Images from YouTube)