David Robertson is starting to look like the single-best signing of MLB free agency. Not just for the White Sox or in Chicago; I’m talking about all of baseball.

The term “lights out” gets thrown out way too often, but David Robertson has been every bit of it after his lucrative $46 million contract last winter.

Robertson has assimilated his new home quite easily, something that’s not always easy for a player to do. In the white and black pinstripes, he’s 3-0 with a 1.04 ERA and ridiculous 0.69 WHIP thus far, along with the eight saves and 27 strikeouts that he was paid for.

And he’s become a fan-favorite in the meantime. His High Socks For Hope charity organization that helps folks devastated by natural disasters has been instrumental in recovery efforts for Illinois tornadoes.

He’s embraced Chicago, and Chicago has embraced David Robertson. Moreover, they’ve embraced his infatuation with facial hair—a luxury he didn’t have when his pinstripes were navy instead of black.

If you didn’t know, the New York Yankees have a clean-shaven policy that prevents its players from sporting facial hair. Like, at all.

This is my worst nightmare. This was David Robertson’s worst nightmare. Not to mention, that high-brow rule (one of many the Yankees have) is a nightmare in itself.

No facial hair? What is this, Soviet Russia?

Might as well be.

Check out this little nugget from the delusional folks over at Yankees101.com:

It isn’t exactly abnormal to hear players complain about the policy after playing for the Yankees because it has happened before. There is even speculation that players don’t like to come to the Yankees because of it.

For Robertson to call it “ridiculous” is a bit over-the-top. Yes, the policy is old-fashioned, however it has been in affect long before Robertson was even alive (1972), thus it is apart of the team’s history and isn’t going anywhere.

There’s nothing wrong with an organization wanting to represent itself with clean-cut looking players, as opposed to a bunch of lumberjacks who are more concerned with taking selfies of their beard instead of worrying about their average or driving in runs.

I’m sure David Robertson’s 39 saves and 96 strikeouts in 64 innings last season can be directly attributed to his absence of facial hair. God forbid he take all those selfies.

And no shit it’s not abnormal to hear players complain about that rule. It’s a stupid fucking rule. The irony here is that this jackoff saying David Robertson’s comments were ‘over-the-top’ is what’s actually over the top. And he apparently doesn’t know the difference between affect and effect.

High comedy.

Scott Alfano of Yanks Go Yard also has some jokes about Robertson:

I have a beard. I enjoy having facial hair. However, if my job required me to stay clean shaven (just as I had to when I worked at Walt Disney World) I would be clean shaven and not talk about that company afterwards. Different companies expect different levels of professionalism and the Yankees are at the top. It may be strict, but it’s their rule.

You had to be clean shaven at Walt Disney World because if you grew a beard you’d look like a pedophile around 100,000 little children every day. And not to belittle working at a Disney World gift shop, but I’m not sure that’s a valid comparison to an MLB closer.

Let’s be real, this whole “different levels of professionalism” shtick the Yankees are on is one of the most absurd things in professional sports.

The Yankees are the gaudy mansion on the corner of your neighborhood that you’re not allowed to touch anything in. That’s baseball purity to me. And let’s be frank, baseball purists suck.

Remember, this is the same team that currently employs Alex Rodriguez.

No wonder David Robertson isn’t losing sleep over the fact that he’s no longer pitching in New York. I mean, $46 million definitely helps one sleep at night, but he realizes he’s in a better situation, with a team that utilizes his talents and lets him keep his beard.

Stay in Chicago as long as you’d like David. Our really good hockey team likes beards too.

(Featured Image courtesy of Keith Allison)