The pride and joy of the Cubs organization, Kris Bryant, has finally popped the question to longtime girlfriend Jessica Delp.
I guess that’s why they call it engagement season. Or cuffing season. Or the holiday season. It all depends on how lonely and miserable your life is.
Either way, Kris Bryant is officially off the market, ladies. But it’s not like you had a shot with him prior to this anyways – for a number of reasons, including but not limited to, the fact that he wasn’t even single. But it’s not like that would have stopped you anyways.
Now, it’s officially official.
Only took me 8 years, but I can't wait to marry my best friend! Perfect way to end an unforgettable year!💍 pic.twitter.com/S9QTLUPN9k
— Kris Bryant (@KrisBryant_23) December 30, 2015
Let’s recap just how unforgettable that year was for KB.
Major League Debut: Check.
All-Star Game, including Home Run Derby: Check.
Helps Lead Cubs To The Playoffs: Check.
BBWAA Rookie of the Year: Check.
Given The Keys To Vegas: Check.
And finally, Got Engaged: Check.
Thankful for that cute boy 8 years ago that asked me out & now I get to call that man my fiancé❤️❤️❤️ pic.twitter.com/vZhx46qmSw
— Jessica Delp (@jessicadelp3) December 30, 2015
What the hell am I doing with my life? I’m just here blogging the whole thing, shamelessly following Twitter keywords to laugh at all the broken hearted girls out there now finding out.
This one made me laugh:
My day just got worse.. @KrisBryant_23 is off the market 💔
— megan booth (@meg__booth) December 30, 2015
Oh shit. That’s my girlfriend. I may be in a bit of trouble here.
Moving on. Anthony Rizzo, part of a notable bromance with Bryant, decided to get in on the action, too.
It's a night of crying and pouring my feelings into ice cream now that Bryzzo is over 😢. JK congrats u 2 lovebirds💑 https://t.co/1dSo4JpLqf
— Anthony Rizzo (@ARizzo44) December 30, 2015
My first name is Brian so we can just do a little tweaking and go with “Brizzo” if you wanna? Maybe? No?
Oh well. I’ll just sit here behind my desk that’s too tall, looking out the window to snow and slush, writing about KB getting engaged, and hoping one day that Rizzo will accept my friendship invitation.