The pride and joy of the Cubs organization, Kris Bryant, has finally popped the question to longtime girlfriend Jessica Delp.

I guess that’s why they call it engagement season. Or cuffing season. Or the holiday season. It all depends on how lonely and miserable your life is.

Either way, Kris Bryant is officially off the market, ladies. But it’s not like you had a shot with him prior to this anyways – for a number of reasons, including but not limited to, the fact that he wasn’t even single. But it’s not like that would have stopped you anyways.

Now, it’s officially official.

Let’s recap just how unforgettable that year was for KB.

Major League Debut: Check.
All-Star Game, including Home Run Derby: Check.
Helps Lead Cubs To The Playoffs: Check.
BBWAA Rookie of the Year: Check.
Given The Keys To Vegas: Check.

And finally, Got Engaged: Check.

What the hell am I doing with my life? I’m just here blogging the whole thing, shamelessly following Twitter keywords to laugh at all the broken hearted girls out there now finding out.

This one made me laugh:

Oh shit. That’s my girlfriend. I may be in a bit of trouble here.

Moving on. Anthony Rizzo, part of a notable bromance with Bryant, decided to get in on the action, too.

My first name is Brian so we can just do a little tweaking and go with “Brizzo” if you wanna? Maybe? No?

Oh well. I’ll just sit here behind my desk that’s too tall, looking out the window to snow and slush, writing about KB getting engaged, and hoping one day that Rizzo will accept my friendship invitation.

Happy Holidays.